


Nobody Likes Bloody Campers

by Divine_shot



Series: Gamers [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gaming friends, Gen, Humor, It's For a Case, Mycroft is a boss at video games, Never play Mario party, Poor John, Sherlock cheats, Video Game Mechanics, video games - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2018-01-07 23:29:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1125657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Divine_shot/pseuds/Divine_shot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, is addicted to video games alone with one John H. Watson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It begins

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this prompt: http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/21766.html?thread=128560134#t128560134
> 
> Ironically its my own prompt that I filled so I decided to post it here.
> 
> Not beta'ed by a beta nor brit picked but I did try. If you spot any errors let me know. I decided to rate it T for cursing and describing Mortal combat. But besides that there isn't anything else that should be shocking/etc.

John Watson dealt with a lot of things in his middle age life.

One of them is an eccentric flatmate who does experiments on people, himself, and/or the surroundings on a daily basis.

He has to chase said room mate around the city, no matter how inconvenient it is or what plans he has before hand due to unfortunate circumstances in the past. John will be damned if what happened on the roof happens again.

He has to deal with said room mate cock blocking him to the point that he gave up a good relationship and several girlfriends previously for the man.

Despite all of this he doesn't regret it since Sherlock is and always will be an important person in his life, even if he makes him want to choke him on a regular basis.

John thought he seen most of it but nothing could prepare him for what happened nor the side effects.

It started due to a case, always a bloody case. It involved a college dormer teenager who died from brain trauma and hemorrhage. The police ruled it as a gamer playing too hard due to previous incidents from the news but Sherlock refused to accept such a fact.

John sat in their shared flat in his chair, watching crappy telly on the rare moment he had the weekend off, when Sherlock galloped inside. He kicked the door open with a bang, which startled the shorter blond man in a half jump.

"What the hell?" He eyed his room mate wearily after his heart calmed down. Sherlock had two bags as well as several boxes in his gloved hands, threatening to topple over.

"John! Get the video game bags! Quickly!"

John helped Sherlock put all of the items in the middle of the room huffing at the massive amount. 

'So much for a peaceful evening.' He bent over, staring at mounds and mounds of video games and console systems. Xbox 360, Playstation 3, Wii, Wii u, Nintendo 3DS, Nintendo 2DS, two tablets, even a brand new Iphone 5 and Iphone 5s.

"Sherlock..." John sighed, preparing himself for the explanation.

"I'm doing an experiment John. You of course heard of the Koreans as well as the others who died of heart attacks from excess gaming."

"Of course." They all played games in excess from what John could recall. Most of their deaths were deep vein thrombosis due to lack of mobile movement or stress to their heart from a lack of contribution to their basic needs like using the loo and eating.

"Good. You already know it would had been impossible for the victim to die as a result of that. He moved around too much and got up at regular intervals; the indents on his clothing as well as the lack of stress on his muscles showed that. I believe someone in the game community killed him."

"Is that even possible?" John heard about the 'other side of the fence' from his younger patients that came in the clinic but considered video games too kiddy like and out of his league. Were gamers really that hardcore to kill someone over a game.

"Yes!" Sherlock crouched down on his knees in his thinking pose, hovering over the many games and staring them with his dark coloured eyes. "I will need your help on this."

'Like I have a choice.'

* * *

 

"Do you even know how to hook these things up?" 

"I told you I read the manual John do keep up. Hooking a child's system to the telly is nothing."

John watched in his chair, legs drawn up as Sherlock twisted wires together and extension cords behind the telly screen in the living room. The blond didn't care for how the other hooked up all three consoles on one circuit and knew the electricity bill would bite them on the arse for doing so.

"AH!" The curly dark haired man exclaimed, clasping his hands together as the screen flickered to life. "There." He opened one of the game cases. "I suggest we start off small and go to the 'old school era.'"

John held back a chuckle but sat down on the floor where he could find space near the TV. "Old school era? You have to explain that one."

 

* * *

 

The two started off playing simpler games on the 'collection series,' such as Tetris, (which John hated already because Sherlock dominated him,) as well as Centipede. John enjoyed Pacman so far with its simple design as well as control. He found himself trying to get a higher score every time he died or when he couldn't get a ghost, tongue stuck out as he paced around corners getting dots and fruit.

Sherlock wrote down everything on his notepad, from how long they settled into each various game to what games held the consultant detective and the doctor's interest. They found that they would have to get up every so often to get comfortable but outside of that nothing major that helped with the case. Yet.

"I don't understand how kids can really get into these for long hours..." John mumbled as Sherlock rummaged around for another case.

They moved onto the more 'mainstream video games' with Mario and Sonic. John found himself glued to the telly, holding back himself, when Sherlock cursed as he tried to find the proper warp pipe or yell in frustration at the princess in another castle.

"Bollocks! **REALLY?** " Sherlock almost threw the controller at the 7-7 stage and John lost it, double over laughing. "When will this ever end? Why can't the dumb blond just stay in the first castle!"

Sonic didn't catch Sherlock's interest, the man beating the game in less than twenty minutes. "Dull! The code is up, c, down, c. left, c, right c! Anyone can figure that out. Just use the glitch through the walls to beat the fat doctor!" John shrugged as he tried to get that blasted fourth Chaos emerald.

"Sherlock I need your help; the computer control isn't doing any bloody good with this stage." The detective huffed but helped his friend; taking up the second controller to program Tails.

The two tried role playing games (which they both liked even though Sherlock would point out plot inconsistencies and programming errors,) as well as side scroll beat em ups.

John laughs once more when Sherlock pressed his lips together and kept dying at one particular one at the boss.

"This game is cheating. I shouldn't be stuck here. Why isn't this working." The whip lady attacked his character again, causing Sherlock to use another continue.

"No I think you just suck at that boss."

Sherlock barely turned his head from his crossed legged sitting position on the floor but the blond man felt and saw his glare, eyes turning dark and gray, the blue and green hues barely noticeable. John decided to not press his luck.

They decided to try more cop-op games, such as Contra and other puzzle games. He didn't enjoy the war like games but found many of the Japanese only games, like Puyo Puyo, to be fun, addicting, and cute. 

When they tried fighting games for the first time since they started John and Sherlock read the manual over together, the detective with his chin sitting on John's shoulder behind him, invading his personal space. The doctor, used to such actions, disregard it and focused on the instructions.

"Down, horizontal forward, forward _punch_?" John raised a blond eyebrown as his blue eyes read it again in confusion.

"Its the directions on the D pad John. You input the correct corresponding motions and press the button after. The 360 are rotations while the others are half circle rotations." Sherlock pointed towards the 'helpful diagram.' "I'll show you. It would be more useful for me to explain it than use this useless booklet any longer."

It took a few tries but they both figured out the simple yet complex system of motion control and discovered that it applied to most of the other fighters. John and Sherlock had a favourite so far: Mortal kombat. They both rolled over in giggles; pointing out the flaws of decapitation and how inaccurate the deaths were.

"Friendship? More like Friend-Zone!" John guffawed out.

"Oh...she kissed him and his head exploded. Remind me to avoid Donovan if she ever attempts that!" Sherlock snipped out, holding his sides.

"Good God I seen a better spine ripped out in the bloody morgue than this game!" They were at the verge of tears by the time they finished the game.

They continued their game journey, laughing and making comments. Sherlock decided to just categorize the important findings in his Mind Palace instead because he needed both hands in order to play this particular racing game and refused to lose to the computer once more.

John stretched hours later after finishing Street Fighter and noticed sunlight peering out of the window. "Oh bloody hell Sherlock its morning."

Sherlock remained focused on a game called Galaxy fight; pout wavering on his lips. "John..."

John glanced at the game systems then at Sherlock. He debated, an itch crawling on the side of his head, urging him to play _one more._  

"It wouldn't hurt to play a few more hours would it?"

 

 

 


	2. I'm not a Pokemon tyrant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I never EV trained my Pokemon in my life so I'm going by what my friend told me.

" _ **OHHHHHH!**_   John look a shiny!"

John glanced over at Sherlock next to him on the kitchen table, sitting in his cushioned chair. The two moved on to handheld games after the blond man rested for a few hours; fixing them a quick breakfast of sunny side eggs, bangers and toast.

For the first time ever since he lived with the berk of a flatmate the detective cleared off the table free of experiments; beakers as well as the test tubes and microscopes put away. Making the table semi operational and suited for human comfort. The doctor even managed to coax Sherlock to eat; the man munching between Pokemon gym leader battles.

John liked Pokemon with its simple design as well as the customization factors. He couldn't help but smile at the little Sandshrew as well as the cute Espurr. He ironically named the Espurr 'Mary' and the Metagross he had 'Sherlock.'

Sherlock on the other hand quickly became obsessed with statistics and as he called it "EV training." He wanted to make sure that all of his Pokemon teams had potential as well as maximum efficiency. As a result Sherlock ended up making a lot of poor children cry in Pokemon online battles and a few teenagers; dubbing him 'tyrant.' He rarely traded and grind like a mad man.

"Sherlock that's the third shiny you found in a while are you sure you're not cheating?" John had his doubts; his friend being a sore loser and all. He probably considered collecting Pokemon as a competition and wanted to be 'the best of the best.'

"Of course not John!" Sherlock grinned brightly like the times he would have to solve a double homicide. "Its probability!"

John rolled his eyes, focusing on finding a Shiny of his own and get past the third gym leader.

* * *

 

"What time is it? No, hell what day is it?"

John tried to raise his head from his position on the floor, mouth tasting of cotton and bile. His muscles tensed and he felt exhausted, his body protesting and wanting to go back to sleep. The blond male breathed through his nose; trying to will his headache away.

He remembered drinking beer and expensive wine with his room mate; both of them playing Mario Kart Wii with the Wii wheels. John knew Sherlock had to be cheating when he got the blue shell every single fucking time he went to first place but was too into the game to protest outside of growls and kicks to the dark haired man's shin.

_"Stop cheating Sherlock!"_

The detective only laughed and finished first, again. After that John couldn't recall much.

'I guess I crashed.' He rose sluggishly to his knees, grimacing at the fact that he ended up sleeping in his day wear from yesterday.

The consulting detective sat in front of him in his robe, thankfully with trousers and a tee this time, continuing to play something with his back turned towards him. 'What was it he told me it was? 'Call of duty?'' John tried to focus past the hangover haze and fatigue.

Sherlock barely glanced away from the telly as he replied. "Tuesday. I believe seven in the morning."

"Oh shit! Hell Sherlock why didn't you wake me? I need to get to work!" He couldn't believe he played video games all weekend! John wanted to groan, to lay under the duvet and hide in shame, to play Puyo Puyo 20th or Skullgirls-

'What am I saying?' He cut off that stream line of thought process. Work. Yes he has to go to his job that helps pay the bills. John rushed to his room, washing up quickly and throwing on a light colored jumper, barely having time to gobble up a piece of toast as he ran out the door.

Sherlock only shrugged his shoulders and continued to play the first person shooter.

* * *

 

"John what are you doing?"

The good doctor jumped in his chair, almost sending his 3DS sprawling on him. He coughed and turned towards Sarah, who glanced at him in question.

John spent most of the day taking care of kids with runny noses, a lady with a bad knee, a guy who had intimacy issues with his girlfriend, and one man who super glued himself to a chair.

The blond man decided to spend his lunch break playing Pokemon with Sherlock as well as a few others via friend codes, feet propped up on his desk near a half eaten bacon roll.

"Oh...nothing." He tried to dismiss the fact that he was in his thirties playing a game more geared towards adolescence and freshmen high school teens. "Just taking a break."

Sarah only raised an eyebrow and walked away, shaking her head with no further comment. John tried to ignore her judging silence and waited a few moments before he talked with Sherlock via 3DS text.

 _CptHedgehog_ : Are you still EV training your Pokemon?  
 _SHWaffles_ : Yes...but I promise to not use my main team against you. Really.  
 _CptHedgehog_ : I don't believe you but come on let's battle. I won't go down without a fight Sherlock.


	3. Sherlock really

John continued to work through the week at the clinic, playing either the Vita or the 3DS on his breaks and during the ride back on the tube.

Sherlock ended holed up in his room when John came back later on Tuesday and the blond man assumed he gathered enough video game information to find   
the suspect and finish the case. He noticed one of the game systems absent from the main room and a good part of the flat vacuum and cleaned. 'Did Sherlock clean?' His flat mate attempted house chores? John touched his forehead and found himself not delirious. 'It must be the start of a good rest of the week!'

The days at 221B went without instance, John not worried at all, until three days later Lestrade texted John after his shift about the case and why that stupid bloke Sherlock turned off his phone.

"Sherlock!" John banged on his room mate's door when he arrived home on Friday. He received no reply so he tried again, knowing how the consulting detective would ignore him. He checked Bart's and Molly told him that she hasn't heard from Sherlock in over a week so the blond assumed the male remained at home.

He listened at the door, growing concerned at the lack of noise. 'What if he's hurt or worse? No the berk is probably ignoring me but...'

John weight his options, deciding to get his gun and case just in case. He raised up his foot and kicked open the door to Sherlock's bedroom, jumping inside and gun drawn.

"What the..." The smell assaulted him first; it had a mixture of musk, half rotten food, faint ammonia as well as sweat. 'Did he bring his experiments in here?'

The bed appeared to be made and un-tousled with the exception of the duvey missing. Cans of Red Bull sugar free, wrappers of assorted candies, Mountain Dew bottle, cartons of takeaway, as well as Walker bags of chips littered the floor in mounds.

Lowering his gun, John sighed at the sight of Sherlock in the middle of his room with a small telly as well as the 'stolen' Xbox 360. Intact. 

He had the missing duvet over his form and John assumed the man had no trousers on, again. His appearance seen better days; skin bleak and pale from lack of sunlight, cheeks hollowed in, hair still curly but tossed and gritty, eyes sunken but aware, and fingers rapidly pushing buttons in quick sucession fast even for John.

"Sherlock you had me worried you stupid git." John put his gun behind his back and shook his head. Did the man ever leave the room? From the liquid he observed in some of the bottles barely.

"Tournament for Call of Duty as well as a few others." Sherlock whispered, focused on the screen, eyes not blinking. "Playing for over 72 hours now. Today is the last day." He snorted. "The other people dropped out for their 'lives.' Casuals."

"Sherlock please tell me you at least moved around and stretched your legs." John prayed that the man had enough sense to prevent thrombosis.

"Yes of course John I'm not daft but I need to focus. The prize is around...sixty nine thousand pounds not including other merchandise. I'm not doing this for the money but I thought you would be pleased at me mentioning that."

John blinked, doing the figures in his head. 'Sixty nine thousand pounds?' He quickly shook away the glee from the premise of money. "No Sherlock this has to end. Have you done anything towards the case already? I noticed you turned off your phone too." He gestured towards the abandoned Iphone 5 on the floor next to him.

"Yes. After the tournament I will text the Yard. I already discovered what server the killer came from as well as why he did it. Bloody campers." Sherlock muttered with detest to himself. "No wonder he killed him."

John sat with Sherlock in the cluttered room and waited until he finished. When the dark haired man input all of his information John pliantly told his room mate that he would be confiscating his Xbox live privileges as well as limiting his gaming time.

It resulted in a scuffle, a lot of name calling and hair pulling, but John ended up being victorious while Sherlock sulked and ignored him for the rest of the day.

One only of John's favourite jumpers burnt to cinders in the resulting retaliation but the blond considered it lenient considering. 

 

* * *

 

John sighed. Getting Sherlock off of video games had been a long and harsh battle, especially when the man ended up having another hardcore session, but worth it. It didn't help that the doctor wanted to go back to playing them himself.

He appreciated and had a better understanding why so many people, kids and adults alike, sought them for entertainment and obsessed with them.

The blond doctor came home one day from a long list of patients ready to have a cuppa and relax in a bath. He opened the door to his flat after greeting Ms. Hudson to see a sight he never thought to see in his lifetime.

Sitting on the floor near the living room telly were Mycroft, Lestrade, and Sherlock. They had the Wii on and were setting up a game apparently.

"Sherlock! What the hell did I tell you after the last hardcore marathon that resulted in us being banned from Xbox live!"

He knew his room mate hated to lose but to cheat of all things and hack? John ended up being red faced and embarrassed as he tried to explain to customer service and eventually the higher ups of Microsoft, even going to the lengths of writing them a personal gram to get them off of restriction. That had been the last straw and geared towards cold turkey.

"Yes you said not to play _by myself_ but you never said with other people in the same room." Sherlock waved his hand and dismissed him; considering the matter closed. John opened his mouth to retort, ready to start another row, until a Wii controller sailed towards him, giving him time to barely catch it. "Come on John we need one more person."


	4. Never play Mario Party again

"How did Sherlock rope you into this Greg?" John settled down near the silver haired DI, snatching the Union Jack pillow from the sofa.

"Long story. We were finishing up another case and he offered to play this party game with him instead of me going back to my flat alone. He neglected to inform that he was barred from video games." Lestrade squinted his eyes, legs folded under him as he tried to figure out a character to pick. He decide to settle on Yoshi. "Did he really hack into the server of Microsoft and change stats around?"

"He said he was bored and that Microsoft cheated him out of some pounds. I thought the last tournament he won would had been enough." John picked Mario and found out that Sherlock funny enough picked Luigi. "He said that Microsoft owed him around one thousand from winning the last tournament and reneged due to some faulty error or another hacker."

"Did he really win over seven thousand pounds playing Call of Duty?"

John raised a blond eyebrow and regarded his friend. "Wait...you know that game?"

Greg blushed and rubbed the back of his silver hair with his hand. "Well...I tried it with a few blokes one time at the bar. There was nothing else to do."

John shook his head. "No I'm not judging. I'm not really into shooters but I do play video games too. Mostly fighting and Pokemon."

"Oh I see." The two tried not to laugh at Mycroft being taught the controls by his brother and the British government picking Peach of all characters.

"Really Mycroft? You have to pick the princess?" Sherlock snorted.

"Why not brother?" Mycroft stressed on the word _brother_. "Her skills as well as statistics are adequate enough to go against you own, especially if you resort to cheating. Such a shame that you are a poor loser when it comes to competition."

"Mycroft I'm afraid I can not offer you any refreshments. We don't have enough cake or cookies for you." It was a lie since he stocked up on various kinds of snacks during the last tournament but he would be damned if he shared them with his brother.

 

* * *

 

The oldest Holmes spoke true. Whoever thought that Mario Party Six would be a 'fun and jolly game' needed to get kicked in the bollocks.

John growled when Sherlock pounded him over and over again with a jump stomp. They were playing Smashdance and Sherlock won, AGAIN. From the results of the four vs four games it would be a tie with the Holmes brothers or Sherlock would win as the result of fowl play, usually with John or Greg as the patsy.

"God damn it Sherlock stop stealing stars!" Greg yelled, close to throwing the controller at the consulting detective's face.

Sherlock only cackled as he stole, for the second time, the poor DI's star.

Mycroft on the other hand had been lucky. Extremely lucky. John wonder if the other man cheated as well but he seemed to be playing legit. So far. He never teamed up on himself or Lestrade but harboured tons of prejudice towards his own brother, the two indirectly taking rows in front of the other two men often in duel mini games.

"What the... **MYCROFT**!" Sherlock rose up to his feet and flung the controller on the ground after his brother won a particular one; the controller bouncing once before landing with a 'crack.'

"Really Sherlock is it so hard for you to accept that I won fair and square compared to you?" Mycroft only raised an eyebrow at his fuming brother.

Sherlock growled, red faced and furious. He opened his mouth and closed it, trying to figure out what to say. Eventually he gave up and went over to the sofa; curled up, back facing and sulking.

"Come on Sherlock you invited us to this game at least have the gall to finish it." John went over and poked his room mate. He hated this game too but he would be damned if he quit; his pride on the line.

It took several tries and some bribes on John's part with helping assist in his flatmate's 'experiments' but Sherlock went back into the game.

John and Greg groaned when Sherlock managed to beat his brother in Snow Whirled, pulling tricks at such an impossible speed that the doctor and the DI considered it impossible. The younger Holmes stuck out his tongue which his brother politely ignored.

The more they played the worse it became. Mycroft had a frown on his face every time he lost, Sherlock threaten to toss the Wii in the bin when they would beat him in three vs one, and Greg would curse and groan every time someone stole a star besides Sherlock.

At the end Mycroft did win, the words _"You are a Super Star!_ " flashing. Before he could comment Sherlock turned off the game and shouted everyone to leave.

"Such a sore loser brother..." Mycroft made a noise with his mouth but John could see the smug satisfaction in his eyes.

"GET OUT! _JUST GET THE BLOODY HELL OUT_!" He roared, grabbing his violin when the two men didn't move fast enough. John felt tempted to join them, wincing as horrible notes issued from the poor instrument.

Greg shook his head and put a hand on John's shoulder near the door. "Does he always act like this when he loses?"

"No I think its worse because he lost to his brother." He couldn't blame him. A game like that should be illegal.

The DI sighed, glanced at Sherlock's back, and left along with the British government.

Once John said his farewells he went back into the flat. Sherlock sat in his chair now, legs drawn up and brooding; bottom lip poked out.

The blond doctor decided to make them tea, cleaning up the games as the kettle boiled. He gave Sherlock a cup with honey and his own with milk. The other man accepted it without thanks.

"I'm sorry you lost." John decided to handle his flatmate's childish sulking like he did with everything else with the man; neutrality. "Maybe you can show me the trick you did against Mycroft?"

Silence. John sipped on his tea as Sherlock stared at the blue screen of the telly on neutral. It took a few moments but the other male finally replied.

"...Its quite simple John. I learned it from game facts and questions but anyone can do it." John smiled as Sherlock spoke quietly, then more animately as he went on with other facts and trivia.

They decided on a middle ground that day. Video games only when there were no cases, stretching and moving required, and no hacking into major companies.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well its done. I thought about making another part with more games in the future.


End file.
